There’s nothing quite as helpless as watching someone you love struggle and suffer, knowing there’s nothing you can do. You want to help. You want to make it better. You may find yourself wondering what to say, what not to say, or whether you’re helping at all. When someone you love is struggling with addiction or their mental health, you can feel completely lost right alongside them.
The Grove offers family support to help you understand what’s happening and figure out how you can be there for your loved one while taking care of yourself, too.
There’s a reason they tell you to put your own oxygen mask on first. Your loved one may be the one struggling with addiction or mental health issues, but you’re living with the effects of it, too. Maybe you’re constantly waiting for the next phone call, worrying about what they’re doing, trying to keep the peace, or wondering if something you said made things worse. Over time, that kind of stress can wear you down.
You may also be dealing with anger, guilt, resentment, fear, and even bouts of relief when things seem to be going well. And then you feel guilty for feeling any of those things. It’s a lot to carry, especially when everyone is focused on the person who is struggling.
Family support gives you somewhere to put some of that weight. It can give you a better understanding of what’s happening and help you navigate the relationship without feeling like you have to handle everything yourself. Supporting someone you love shouldn’t mean putting your own life completely on hold.
Maybe you’re wondering if things have gotten bad enough that you should ask for help. Maybe you’re walking on eggshells at home, waiting for the next argument or the next crisis. Maybe you’ve gotten so wrapped up in what your loved one is doing that you’re barely thinking about yourself anymore.
And honestly, it can be really hard to know where helping ends and taking over begins. You want to be there for them, but you can’t manage their recovery for them. Family support gives you a place to talk about what’s going on and figure out what you can actually do, without trying to carry the whole thing yourself.
Family and chosen family are connected. When one person is struggling, it affects everyone around them. Maybe things at home are tense. Maybe you’re constantly worried about what happens next, or you and your loved one aren’t communicating the way you used to. Whatever it looks like in your family, it’s okay to admit that it’s affecting you.
Support can help you understand what’s going on without making you responsible for fixing it. You can learn more about addiction and mental health, work on communication, set some boundaries, and talk about the anger, fear, guilt, or exhaustion that comes with all of this.
You can’t fix your loved one. But you can figure out how to be there for them without letting the situation take over your entire life.
At The Grove, we know that when someone you love enters treatment, you don’t suddenly stop being part of their life. You’re still dealing with everything that’s happened, and you may have your own questions, worries, and stuff to work through. Family involvement can be part of treatment, but it doesn’t look the same for every family.
Depending on what’s going on and what your family needs, support at The Grove may include:
Family involvement doesn’t have to mean being involved in every part of treatment. Every family is different, and what helps one family may not be what another family needs. The goal is to find a way to support your loved one while also recognizing that you are a person in this situation, too.
Loving someone who is struggling can be exhausting. You can worry about them, be angry with them, be scared for them, and still love them deeply. Sometimes all of those feelings show up at once.
You don’t have to pretend you’re handling it perfectly. And you don’t have to wait until you’re completely burned out to get some help yourself.
The Grove Recovery Community is here to support families as they navigate addiction and mental health challenges. If you’re not sure what kind of support would help, that’s okay. Start by talking with someone who understands what families go through. Sometimes having somewhere to put all of this can make the situation feel a little less impossible.
 | Authored by: Joshua Hamburg Josh completed his Certificate in Alcohol and Drug Abuse Counseling from the University of California, San Diego Extension in 2015, followed by an Associates of Arts in Psychology from Saddleback College in 2016. He attained his Bachelors of Arts in Psychology from California State University, Fullerton in 2020. Josh holds certifications as a Certified Addiction and Dependence Counselor – Clinical Supervisor (CADC-CS) and Internationally Certified Clinical Supervisor (ICCS). |
